The air is sweet with jasmine, and I am hanging washing on the line in the dark, because I haven't had a chance to do it in the daytime for 5 days, between work and family things. In the background, I can hear the hum of traffic of the freeway, and the click-clack of trains headed for the station. A warmish breeze is stirring the trees; the dog and the 3 year old are chasing each other through the starry-skied back garden, she laughing, he panting.
The house is a mess...
and I have more work to do than hours to do it...
and I have an overwhelming backlog of life stuff that hasn't been done and won't be done...
and I'm tired, and cold-ridden, and tempted to feel sorry for myself...
Until I realise that I'm not cold, outside, at 7pm.
It's spring!
Until I remember that all my children are healthy, and often happy, and love me.
I send thoughts to all the parents who are worried and fearful and suffering with their children tonight.
Until I reflect that all this work means a new, efficient air conditioner for summer, and paying off a longstanding debt mountain in full, and a holiday for next year.
It's so, so good to be not in financial straits for the first time in years.
Until I realise that a messy house is a lived-in house, the house of people busy living their lives.
After all, I don't want my epitaph to be "She had a really, really shiny sink!"
I'm pretty blessed, all in all. It is good to remember that.
Thanks for posting this today. The warm weather this week has really lifted my spirits, without having realized that maybe I was a bit down before. Here's to feeling more blessed and less overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteI still feel overwhelmed but I'm keeping hold of some perspective about it ... It's for a good cause. I chose it. And this too shall pass :-)
DeleteI've taught myself to ignore the mess.. being outside is so much nicer than worrying about a messy house!
ReplyDeleteSo true!
Deletei ignore the mess.. then my mum pops round unannounced.. and I get a OOOHHH you haven't tidied..
ReplyDeleteno mum I have been runnning after 2 lil ones and toilet training one, trying to keep the other one from climbing into the bath all while trying to get them dressed and fed..
Oh I hear you ... My Mum is here today (has just taken the three kids out to lunch so I can work) and I was compelled to do a whip around hidey-up this morning and mop /vaccuum, even though I really couldn't spare the time, cos the Look is worse.
DeleteI don't want that to be my epitaph either!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the moment. :)