Month of Poetry #9: On Collaboration (For Tumnus, a ethical faun in spite of himself)

The third of my Narnia poems … trying it as a villanelle.

in the abstract, it all sounded well
what is a human child to me, after all?
for the safety it would buy, so small to sell.

doubts, if any, were not hard to quell
my love of my own safety didn’t pall
in the abstract, it all sounded well.

I knew, I knew, the whispers that would tell
if I ever tried to hide, or even stall
for the safety it would buy, so small to sell.

I think I knew her first by her unchancy smell
cinnamon, and honey, and remembered caul
in the abstract, it all sounded well.

but sitting by my fireside, I saw hell
in handing over innocence in thrall
for the safety it would buy, so small to sell.

and now I hear in every wind, the bell
and wait, and wait, and wait for pain to fall
in the abstract, it all sounded well
for the safety it would buy, so small to sell.

- Kathy, 9/1/14

Month of Poetry #5: Turkish Delight

Continuing on my Narnia-inspired run, this one's for Edmund ... 

her sled spun of ice-lace, her arms
white white white
but warm, even so
the snow is falling

I know I should not

sweet
ahhhhhh

powdered sugar on my tongue
altering my brain chemistry
firing me with longing -

it's not really my doing. witched candy
wraps its sticky tendrils around my heart

third children, second sons
are born to be sidelined

but she

gave

me

delight

even though I knew it was poison
even then

powdered sugar on my lips
the secrets dropping from my mouth like crystals

secrets for delight. it seems a fair exchange, for a while,
even though I could taste the underbite of sour all along

but I wanted it, I wanted it
I want -

- Kathy, 5/1/14

2013: The year that was

So, 2013 is behind us, and it was a rather massive year around here.

I lack the energy or the will for a comprehensive wrap up post, such as the ones I have done in previous years. My year left me exhausted, a deep-seated tiredness from which I am only just recovering (in time to return to work on Monday, yay...) Besides, the major milestones were marked here when they occurred, and I'm not sure we any of us need detailed repetition!

I thought instead I'd go with lists: highlights, lowlights, changes, and goals for 2014. (Not resolutions, just ... aspirations.)

Highlights
- Family holidays to Warrnambool (in February-March) and Sovereign Hill (in April), and our winter staycation in July

- Emerging Writers Festival in May

-  Securing a fulltime job in July (me)

- Getting our outdoor area completely rebuilt and looking awesome

- Kids' birthdays in February, May and August

- My beautiful book stack birthday cake (June)

- Having a great year at kindergarten (C) and school (A and E)

- Making new friends and consolidating long term friendships

- Getting our people mover car (March)

- Writing much more poetry and many more book reviews, including completing several book review challenges

- Writing the Interleaves column for The Shake

- G (husband) moving to 4 days a week at work

- Strengthening our marriage: if all relationships have seasons, we are enjoying a renewal of spring at the moment, and it's ever so nice.

Lowlights
- Dodgy health across the board for me, but particularly in heart and asthma management.

-Transition stress issues with me moving into fulltime office-based work.

- A marked increase in behavioural issues for both the kids and I (in my case, I mean psycho-social behavioural problems such as my growing claustrophobia and panic attacks).

Changes
- The biggest by far was my decision to cease consulting and accept a fulltime salaried role in July. This led to multiple changes for all of us.

- Turning 40 in June affected me more than I expected it to; not necessarily negatively, but many serious thinks were thunk about what it means to be in the likely midpoint of my life, and what I want to not regret never having done when I am old and gray and full of sleep.

Goals: So what do I want in 2014?
- I want to be healthier, and I want to get on top of my phobia issues.

- I want to be less stressed by work and to put strategies in place to make that happen.

- I want to parent my children and partner my husband in love, not perfectly, but wholeheartedly.

- I want to help C have a wonderful first year of school.

- I want to have an awesome and memorable family holiday to the Great Barrier Reef.

- I want to write, write, write - poetry, stories, articles, book reviews, ALL of it.

- I want to complete the 99 Black Books Challenge and expand my mind and heart through doing so.

- I want to be kind and I want to exercise compassion and judgement, in all the arenas of life I move through.

That'll do, I think :-)

Month of poetry #2: For Lucy

some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again -
he said, to the goddaughter caught in amber on the page
destined - or doomed? - to be the darling of the story forevermore

to grow, then shrink, then grow again
telescoping from past to future
from witch-cursed winter to lion-gold wild spring
hunter, hunted, smacked with salt spray on the deck of a quest ship
stalking hidden magicks and backing restoration wars
flung about among the stars and all their worlds; a heroine, yes,
courage mandatory, doubt impermissible
going forth, whether she will or no

and of course, foreshadowed, a vision of the way it finishes -
death is not the end, but the beginning
the first chapter is written when the storybook stops
the fairytale would have it so. and so he did believe it.
an eternity of pastoral and child-like delight, which sounds nice enough -

(perhaps, when she was 9).

- Kathy, 2/1/14

Month of Poetry #1: Turn

the year has turned. the future is here
wearing a baffled and uncertain face

north and west of here, a cyclone with a beautiful name
casually flings ships to shore as she spirals to oceanic extinction.

while on two islands, barred,
seekers of refuge find none.

back here, in the rich and rampant east
the sky lights up in pink and gold, and the people cheer.

- Kathy. 1/1/2014