Monday, November 29, 2010

We Play - Water in the Kitchen


My 21-month-old loves to play with water. For preference, she does it outside, in singlet and nappy, with dirt, mud, leaves and sand thrown in for good measure ;-)


When the weather is too inclement to allow for outdoor water play (a frequent occurrence in the past few months, with Melbourne suffering a long, cold, rainy winter and cold spring), I have taken to setting up a simple water station for her in the kitchen, on the slate floor. It's just a thick towel, two bowls filled 1/3 with lukewarm water, and a varied series of pouring tools - cups, jugs, toy teapots, measuring spoons, anything really that my Tupperware cupboard disgorges.

She really enjoys it, and her aim is getting better all the time - my days of removing saturated towels after 3 minutes are passing! She spends ages carefully transferring the water from one receptacle to another, often narrating what she's doing for me as I cook the dinner. It's a great way to incorporate some fine motor play and casual togetherness at what can otherwise be a rushed time in our day.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

On achieving personal goals

(This is cross-posted, with some omissions, from a post on my private blog, Zucchinis in Bikinis. If you are also a reader over there, my apologies - the other post is an expanded version of this one, so you need not feel you have to read both!)

Yesterday, I hit the 50,000 word mark on my NaNoWriMo novel, Frankie Loveday: Girl Detective. While the story is not quite finished (I have a chapter and a half, about 7,000 words, left to write, I estimate), once I exceeded 50,000, I officially achieved the NaNo target and was able to validate my word count on the website. For which, I got to download this:


A website button is nice, and the purple WINNER! flag on one's NaNo homepage is nice, but obviously, that's not what I did it for (or, I imagine, anyone else either). I did NaNo because I wanted to practice my writing, and also I wanted stretch myself, to try something that I thought would be difficult for me and would require logistics, commitment and perseverance.

Writing 50,000 words in a calendar month when you have three small children, a part-time job that you are winding up (which always means more work, ironically, as I try to leave things neat for the next person who has to deal with it), and various seasonal imperatives is not a doddle by any means. I made a commitment to myself that I would not do NaNo at the expense of my children, my household or my workplace, and one of my greatest satisfactions in getting to the goal has been that I did it without once having to put a child off who needed something from me, without stealing a single minute from employment time, and without ending up in a state of disarray in this house. (Well, no disarray greater than the norm, I mean!) I met my obligations and delighted in my children first, and NaNo came second, and there was no doubt that that was how it had to be.

So what has it meant? It has meant that I've watched virtually no television in November - I sat down with my big girls and watched an episode of the newest River Cottage series on Thursday night and it was the first time I'd watched the little screen since Melbourne Cup Day. I've also read far less fiction than my norm, played no games whatsoever, tried no new recipes, visited very few blogs and no online forums or community spaces, and Tweeted (and blogged!) far more minimally than is my wont. Basically, I have devoted all my leisure time to crafting this story that I decided I would write, and I have kept to my decision, all month, despite being tired and under pressure.

And oh, but it has been a wonderful, creative and empowering experience for me. I feel great about the fact that I've done it - that I achieved the word count despite all the factors that said I shouldn't be able to - and that the story I've written is one that I think has some merit, is not utter rubbish. I don't kid myself that it's publishable, but I am proud of it all the same, and I feel that I didn't sell myself short in what I produced. Immersion in my little fictional world has been enormously enjoyable and energizing for me, and, combined with the thrills of the season and the late-coming warmth of spring, has made November my best month of the year by quite some margin.

So that would be my reply to the Salon article of a couple of weeks ago where the writer exhorted people not to do NaNo because "the world doesn't need more bad books." My answer would be that not everyone does NaNo in order to be published, or to inflict their literary outpourings on the world. Sometimes, as for me, people take on a challenge like NaNo in order to practice doing something creative, to get back in touch with a side of their personality that's been suppressed, and maybe to test themselves too, to force themselves out of a rut and perhaps forcibly effect a mood shift with it. It's cheaper than therapy, anyways ;-)

Overall - NaNo was a great experience for me. I savoured it, I accepted the difficult moments and got past them, and I am very pleased that I made it. Best of all, my 7-year-old is avidly reading my novel now (it was written for 9-11 year olds, but she punches out of her weight with fiction) and she is loving it, and says she's proud of me. That's the very nicest thing I could ever wish to hear.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Frankie Loveday, Part 9

(This post is Part 2 of of Chapter 6. To catch up on the story so far, look at:
Post 1 (Chapter 1, Part 1)
Post 2 (Chapter 1, Part 2)
Post 3 (Chapter 1, Part 3)
Post 4 (Chapter 3, Part 1)
Post 5 (Chapter 3, Part 2)
Post 6 (Chapter 4, Part 1)
Post 7 (Chapter 4, Part 2)
Post 8 (Chapter 6, Part 1)
NB: Chapter 2 and Chapter 5 have been omitted deliberately. Chapter 5 takes place in the art room at Frankie's school and contains additional revelations about both Penny Ganz's mother and the cheating scandal).

After washing my hands and putting the nappy in the outside bin, I went back into the kitchen, where Mum was washing out the cutlery drawer with a set look on her face. “Mum,” I said. “I can walk Phil to gym if you like. I’ll call Mrs Obloswki and we can meet up with her and Tina and Jess at the corner and walk with them.” This, it must be said, represented a generous offer on my part, if I do say so myself. It was a solid half-hour walk each way to the gym, and Phil would train for an hour, so I was committing two hours. (I was planning, however, to do my homework in the observation room at the gym, so it wouldn’t be entirely wasted).

Mum looked at me consideringly, then smiled. “That’s kind, Frankie, but I’ll take her in the car. I need to talk to her coach today about the state championships anyway. Besides, you need to tidy your room. Remember, Vicky and I are camping out with you for the next two nights. Auntie Dido will be here around 9 o’clock tonight.” She sighed.

“Oh yes,” I said gloomily. “Auntie Dido.” Sigh.

Auntie Dido was my Mum’s aunt, so technically my great-aunt, but let me tell you, there is nothing in the least bit great about her. She’s in her early seventies somewhere but acts much older in a lot of ways. She lives in Adelaide but comes to Melbourne five or six times a year to see her army of medical specialists, at which time she always expects to stay with us, and to occupy Mum and Dad’s lovely big room with its en suite and beautiful herb garden walled courtyard (where Mum sits to edit sometimes while Vicky plays endless games of tea party with her dollies). Auntie Dido has a range of health issues, both minor and major, and I suppose that’s part of what makes her so crabby all the time. It must suck to be sick. (Well, I remember. Having leukaemia at 7 was pretty sucky and all. But I am healthy now, thankfully).

Sick or not, Auntie Dido was a difficult guest. Nothing was ever good enough for her, and she sniped constantly at my Mum about the State of the House, the Behaviour of the Children, the Inadequacies of Doctors, the Dreadfulness of Melbourne, and anything else she could find to whine about. My Mum always dreaded her visits, although she tried to pretend she didn’t. It was easier if Dad was here when she came; he buffered Mum a bit, and drove Dido to her medical appointments (reluctantly, but he did it). Still, they used to argue about it. Dad thought Mum shouldn’t have to put up with Dido’s filthy rudeness. Mum thought Dad didn’t understand the obligation she felt. They were both right, which meant the argument never ended.

When Auntie Dido came to stay, Mum, Dad (if he was home) and Vicky vacated their room and moved to mine, which was the biggest of the other bedrooms and had a double bed and plenty of room for Vicky’s cot. If Dad was home, I slept in with Phil in her room, on a mattress on her floor. If he wasn’t, though, Mum and I just shared my bed. Thankfully, neither of us snores.

So this meant that I had some cleaning to do, and quick smart too. “OK,” I agreed. “I’ll move Vicky’s cot, too.”

“Thank you,” Mum said, and gave me a tired smile. “I think the living area is pretty OK and I’ve made a lasagne for dinner, all you need to do is put the oven on at 5 o’clock and put it in. When I get back with Phil at 5:30, I’ll make the salad and we can eat at 6.” With that, she hurried off to collect Phil and Vicky. Within three minutes, the car doors were slamming, and they were on their way.

Seb was doing homework in his room, so I had the main house to myself, a rare and enjoyable event. The kitchen, usually fairly orderly anyway (my Mum hates to cook in a messy kitchen), sparkled with the extra attention it always got pre-Auntie Dido. I put the kettle on and went into the living area, which looked great – everything neat and packed away (not its usual state, I have to say). I decided to give myself a breather before starting work on my room, and sank down into my red chair, opening my notebook.

Right, to review, I thought. First up, the Miranda case.

The things I knew about Miranda Ganz were:

- Her full name and her maiden name
- Her age (she’d now be 31)
- Her place of birth (Bulgaria)
- Her profession (modelling)
- The date and place of her marriage to Ivan Ganz
- That she didn’t speak much English
- That she liked, no, loved, children

This was more than I’d known yesterday, which was encouraging, but none of it got me much closer to finding out why she’d left. At this stage of the case, sometimes a bit of speculation can be useful. I opened a fresh page and wrote – What Happened To Miranda? Possibilities – and started a list.

First up, sadly but inevitably, was DEATH. If Miranda had died soon after she left Ivan and Penny, that would explain why she never came back or got in touch. There were a few problems with that explanation, though. If her death had been a “normal” one, it should have been registered, and Ivan notified. If he knew she was dead, why wouldn’t he have told Penny that? The other possibility was a nasty one – that she had been killed, and her death concealed. Ivan wouldn’t have notified the police to look for her if she had already left him, because he wouldn’t know she was missing.

A chill went through me as another thought struck me: Assuming she did leave. I quickly shelved this one, though. I don’t underestimate myself, but even I boggled at the notion of trying to find out if Ivan had killed his wife then lied about what happened to her for 11 years. Besides, from the little Penny had said, it seemed that maybe there was more evidence to be found that would show that Miranda had left under her own steam.

Second option on my list, therefore, was AMNESIA / MENTAL DISTURBANCE / POSS. COMMITTAL? FALSE NAME? If Miranda had suffered some kind of severe mental problem, maybe one that meant she couldn’t identify herself, it was possible that she simply didn’t know or wasn’t able to contact Ivan and Penny. One thing that fitted well about this option was that it explained neatly why a woman who loved children so devotedly could leave her own baby behind. If she was not herself, that was the answer to that.

Third option was harder to define, but I wrote it as PRESSING / COMPELLING REASON, POSS. PROTECTIVE IN NATURE. By this, I was talking about Miranda leaving because she felt that to stay would endanger her family in some way, or else because she had a strong pull factor to protect someone else. This was a bit far-fetched in some ways, but, remember, Miranda wasn’t Australian-born, which meant there might be factors at work in her past that no-one knew about.

Fourth option, which I was coming to consider unlikely given what Mrs Genovese had said, was simply NOT WANTING DOMESTIC LIFE / LACK OF ATTACHMENT. It happens, sadly; total long-term silence is pretty rare, but sometimes, a parent just bails on the family. It didn’t seem all that likely that Miranda had done this, but you never can tell.

I reviewed my list, frowning. None of the options I’d listed felt like a stand-out at this stage. What I needed to do next, I decided, was some talking. Ideally I needed to find more people who had known Miranda; I made a note, CHECK NEIGHBOURS BACK STREETS and HEALTH NURSE? (I knew that our local Maternal & Child Health Nurse, the professionals who do the well-baby checks on kids in Melbourne, had been in her job 15 years, so in theory that meant she’d met Miranda at Penny’s check-ups). I also noted, although this was obviously harder, that I should CHECK PPL M WORKED WITH – mind you, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get an entree to the modelling world, but I’d think of something. Probably a first step, now I thought about it, would be to find out which agency Miranda had worked for. I wrote AGENCY? MRS G – ASK on my list.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Murdered Sleep

So here's the thing. It creeps up on you
accumulates, so
you're not even aware of when you cross the line from just tired into dangerously exhausted
from a state where a few good nights (if you should ever get them)
will see you right, to
a state of living underwater
moving through time and space like a dream made of molasses
thick and heavy and pellucid
colours brighter, noises harsher
than they should be
every last nerve attuned to the necessity for wakefulness
every last cell forgetting how to sleep
how to relinquish consciousness to the dark
because the dragging-back-from-the-deep is too painful
too hard to do
over and over and over and

the dog is barking again. it's 3am
he's disturbed by the shadows of half-seen cats in the gibbous moonlight
it's almost a given, at this season. he
is unsettled by the weather, the movement of snakes and possums and night-time things
shushing him a nightly task. before
he wakes the toddler, oh
but she's woken. it's too late
her second nursing of the night begins
rocking on the green leather chair in her quiet room
humming without tune as she feeds, her
face calm, her eyes closed.

a return to bed, with a 5-year-old for company
a bad dream deposited her there just on the midnight hour
where she sighs and snuggles and kicks
and spreads herself across the bed, star-shaped, like
some importunate plant.

a return to bed, yes. but sleep is harder. it is hot
none of the other creatures of this household are peacefully sleeping, all
are tossing, turning, half-crying out
and so you lie. awaiting the next need, lying wakeful
body buzzing with adrenalin and fatigue, and
willing sleep to come
comeoncomeoncomeon

and you're reminded of one of your children's books
about a toy elephant who cannot get to sleep
and like Harry, you wonder
what if sleep never comes at all?

and when it does, it's shallow
dream-ridden, twitchy, easily rousable
no peacefulness in this bed

and then it's dawn, and the toddler wakes
and the day is afoot
again.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

We Play - Fairytale Park

The highlight of this week's play was the first of our Christmas events - a visit to the Fairytale Park in Anakie for my sister-in-law's company Christmas picnic.

We had never been to the Fairytale Park before, although I had long heard good things about it. Set on a steep granite outcrop in the middle of farming fields in rural Victoria, close to Geelong, the Fairytale Park is a very pleasant series of animatronic displays representing various (mostly Brothers Grimm / Germanic) fairy stories.


Animatronics can be done well or badly, of course - the Ned Kelly Museum that we visited in July would be a good example of "badly", to my mind - but someone has put a lot of thought into the design and layout of this park,and the circuit moves you along very nicely from one story to the next. The girls were all fascinated, peering in at the beautiful little tableaux and retelling the stories to each other as we walked.




Their favourites? The magic cave (featuring Aladdin, Ali Baba and a snake charmer), the Gingerbread house, Sleeping Beauty's castle at the summit of the rock, and the Three Little Pigs house.


Visiting the fairytale park has sparked a ravenous renewed interest in fairytales, which we've been reading, and they've been playing, ever since.